Inu Shorties
by NightGoddess009
Summary: Just a bunch of really dumb short stories......yup. There should be one for every character or 2 at a time. Rated for language in later chapters. Well, enjoy! R&R plz & thank u!
1. Shippo Grows Up

Hello! Okiedokie just so you know, I'm crazy! And all these "short Stories" are crazy! Would you believe me if I told you I was high on gum when I wrote this? Cuz I really was.:) Cola flavored gum is mad kewl! With a capitol K! Anyways , this here is just a bunch of short stories (DUH!) most of which I thought of while talking on the phone wit my friend. That is one reason why these storied are insane:) Now on wit the story! Or stories………!

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Inuyasha.(yet….muahahaha!) But I do own these stories:)

"Shippo Grows Up"

One day Shippo was walking down the road when all of a sudden he saw a pretty pink and purple and blue swirly colored bottle.

"ohhhhhhh……… pretty……"said Shippo (A/N: my friend did the exact same thing while watching Inuyasha Movie #1. lol) so he strolled over to the bottle, picked it up, and began examining its contents.

It had this strange looking liquid inside and smelled like sweet pea (A/N: omigosh, that so used to be my scent, but right now peony is my new temporarily permanent scent) being a senseless child (aren't we all at heart?) decided to drink this mysterious liquid and………POOF

THE END

Just kidding…….:)

The potion had miraculously morphed Shippo. He was now grown up!

THE END

No seriously, this time it's really the end.

Anyways, this short story is dedicated to one of my friends since it was her idea. Most of the short stories are gonna be like this one, though some may be slightly dumber, so if you don't like this sort of stories well then, don't read the next chapters. And please for the love of God, don't read the next chapters just so you can send me rude and nasty reviews about them. In other words, plz no flames, thanx. Constructive criticism appreciated, honestly. :)


	2. Naraku's Death

This one is really dumb. The only reason im putting i on is bcuz the first time I told my friends we all started laughing hysterically. So I thought, I'll just put it up, I mean, why the hell shouldn't I? So here ya go. Enjoy.

"Naraku's Death"

One day Naraku died. And God said "Let there be light", and there was light.

THE END

NO FLAMES! and if u do flame my story, well, just...sleep with one eye opened... :3 RR! thanx:)


	3. THe Aftermath of Shippo's Miracle

This chapter is for those who would like to know what happens to Shippo after he miraculously grows up. So here ya go. But I think I'll make things ironic, and nope he doesn't take drugs. :3

"The Aftermath of Shippo's Miracle"

Shippo couldn't believe he'd actually grew up so quickly! He was ready to go kick some ass! So he went an' killed a big ol' demon.

"Now what?" thought Shippo. "I know! I'll get a job." But all of a sudden the inu gang come. They stared at Shippo dumbfounded. (A/N: they already kno its shippo cuz he still looks like himself except stretched out, lol)

"Yes, it's true. I'm grown up now. I'm sorry, but this is where we part.

Now Inuyasha was more than willing to get rid of the "little brat" (A/N: Shippo's too cute to be a brat) but Kagome was a whole different story. So after much persuasion, on Shippo's and Inuyasha's part, Kagome was finally convinced. So off went Shippo on his merry little way. Somehow he ended up at the bone eaters well. So he sat down on the edge of the well and began to think about what he would do with his life, considering his early growth spurt.

Right when he came to the conclusion that he would go kill another demon, he accidentally lost his balance and fell through the well.

He wasn't sure what he would do now that he was in Kagome's era, so he went exploring.

He was just walking down the sidewalk when all of a sudden he tripped on a piece of paper. "Damn you!" yelled Shippo.

But he picked it up anyway and continued down the street. He saw this giant building with lots of people going in and out.

He went inside himself and the first thing he saw was...CANDY! So he just grabbed one and went to the cash register (A/N: lets just say by some miracle he knows where to go to pay) "what you got there kid? A snickers huh? OK. one dollar please" said the man at the cash register. Shippo by now was incredibly confused thinking, ' what the hell does one dollar mean?' He looked at the other people and so he took out the mysterious demon paper that had mercilessly tripped him. He handed the paper to the guy and walked away.

He was about to eat his Snickers when all of a sudden a giant pigeon came swooping down and stole his Snickers.

But Shippo didn't give up and he began to chase the bird. He chased all the way to where ever those people film the Donald Trump show, when the bird smashed into a building and dropped the Snickers. Shippo picked up his candy and was about to begin to eat it when someone dragged him inside the building and sat him down in one of those chairs that Trump says "you're fired!". The people had made a mistake and thought he was supposed to be on the show. "Kid, you have good taste(pointing at the Snickers), maybe I won't fire you after all" said Trump. So Shippo won and became rich and met a nice girl and had some nice kids and everything was great.

"Remember, eat a Snickers, get on the Trump show, and become rich"

THE END

I hope this is a satisfactory ending for everyone, and if it isn't too bad! rR :3


	4. Naraku Goes Shopping

oooookaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy! im back! WOOHOO! yeah right. well, sry it took so long to update, but, well, i'm just lazy ok? it ain't my fault. go blame my parents. it was their genes. yeah, so, here is a new chappie. enjoy, if u can enjoy this weirdness that is. : 3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, OK? except this story, tho im not sure if that's something to be proud of...

"Naraku Goes Shopping"

One day Naraku was just laying around being his normally bored self. "Wow, I sure am bored!" "Iknow, I'll go shopping with Sesshomaru! because he is my BESTEST friend ever. So Naraku called up Sesshomaru and they went to the mall. Anyways, they had their credit cards with them so they decided to spend a lot. A LOT. First they went to Hot TOpic and Naraku bought a giant black T-shirt that several abstract pics of him. (A/N: people. seriously, i saw a shirt EXACTLY like that at Hot Topic. at first i was like, "wat the hell?" but then i was like, "does this come in size small?" lol) Then Sesshy decided they should go to Bath and Body Works where they smelled tons of dessert flavored candles until they puked. They purchased some lotion and shampoo and perfume and pillow mist and yummy smelling hand sanitizer and body wash and hand soap and the candles that actually smelled really nice like pink flowers. :3 Then they went to this unknown store they didn't know existed and started looking around. When all of a sudden... they saw the AXE isle! (A/N: inside joke, work with me people.) They rushed directly to that isle and began to sniff the different varieties of AXE and of course AXE"s best friend and leading competitor, TAG! Naraku decided he would purchase Voodoo after about three hours of hard decision making and AXE sampling. Sesshomaru however decided to purchase the scent Midnight from TAG, three more hours later. Theey went up to the cash register and began to wait in the very, extremely, gicantical line of peopl who surprisingly had AXE or TAG cans.(A/N: let's just say there was a sale.) They knew they would have to wait a good couple of hours so they began to relax. Now in the time they were on the line, they got mugged, jumped, beaten up severly, and molested by a boy in my class named Fillip (A/N: omg, nobody tell him I just told like hundreds of people who might view this story his name... By the time they finally got to pay Naraku realized that they had no money left after being robbed and thus they could not buy their beloved AXE and TAG. Naraku and Sesshomaru were so pissed that they went homa and ice-cream till they both gained like 3,000 pounds.

THE END

Okie dokie. Well, that was incredibly dumb. So anyways imma startin' to run outta ideas, soooooooo just like email me ideas if u have any, tho until u do i'll continue to ask my "not motivated by anything jus like me" friends. So yeah. I just have one question i must ask people. Does anyone watch the show "HOUSE" on fox 5 at 9:00 on Tuesdays? (im obsessed) If so, do you know that doctor, Chase? He is so cute... :3 ANywAyS, R&R plz an' thank u! XD


	5. Sequel To Antigone

Im BAK! woot woot! just kidding. im so under appreciated sometimes... :P so anyways here is chapter 5! yaya! wats really sad is that i haf no idea wat this chapter is gonna b about yet, im actually making this up as i go along. sigh well, here goes nothing...OH! i though of something! how kewl is that? in language arts at school the teacher made us write wat we thought would happen if the play "Antigone" continued where it last left off. Everyone knows this play right? well i guess it doesnt really matter. i added something in there that had 2 do wit inuyasha and mi friends were all like, its supposed to be ancient greek stuff not fuedel japan, but at school no one knows hes from fuedel japan so, HMPH! anyways, here is chapter 5!

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN INUYASHA! OR ANYTHING ELSSE 4 DAT MATTER! THERE! U HAPPY? gosh darn it, u dont haf 2 rub it in mi face! Damn, yo.

"Sequel to Antigone"

One night while Creon was sleeping, a starnge scraping noise could be heard throughout his castle(A/N: does he even HAVE a castle?) Antigone had come back from the dead to haunt Creon but her dress had gotten caught on a table and was stuck thus forcing her to drag the table everywhere. scrape, scrape But then she tripped on a random rock. Her last words before she hit her head and died, AGAIN, were "curse you Creon for being so cheap and not buying tiled floors or something!". Then an evil villain named Naraku takes over his land the very next morning. There is a lot of blood shed and and dead people and evil crows that bring doom and represent bad omens, and all the Gods were angry because Creon managed to kill Antigone yet again.But Creon manages to fool everyone using a life sized Antigone dollie. Creon slowly made his full proof plan to retreat to his castle. Everyone continues praising and worshipping the Antigone dollie still oblivious to the fact that it wasn't really her. Naraku not being quite as dumb as the others decided that these people were much to stupid for him to take over. And so Naraku left and Creon and his people, and the Antigone dollie of course, lived happily ever after.

THE END

i kno. ur probably thinking, 'wat the fuck?'. and yes i really did write this for school. it was copied from my notebook, word for word. sad, ne? well, anyways, R&R! i love all of u who review, and i love u just if u read my story, but ill love u even more if u review...and remember, Chase is hott! and Orlando Bloom is hott hott hottt! see ya'll next time...i hope :3


	6. A Day at The Mall

hello. tis i joanna, here again with another chappie. but b4 u read this chappie plz read wat i am about to write. now, all u need to kno is an inside joke of some of my friends and i. but first, does everyone kno who Kenshin is? ok. good. well we were all watching an ep of kenshin when we noticed he had this very strange circular even roundish spot on his stomach. so of course i yelled out either he has round abs or he's pregnant. So it was settled, Kenshin was now officially pregnant, and to make things even worse, it was the ep with the young master. So when Kenshin dived in to rescue the Young Master becuz he couldn't swim, i said that was their special moment. nudge, nudge so technically Kenshin wasn't pregnant before he got in the water, but was pregnant after he got out. get it? got it? good! so here's the story! oh and one more inside joke you need to know, one my artistic friends decided to try to draw Sesshomaru with no referance watsoever. Bad idea. He turned out looking like M.J. (Michael Jackson). So I made a joke and said Sess likes to molest little boys. Bad idea. Now...ON WITH THE STORY!

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or Kenshin or anyone you will read about. I do however own this story.

"A Day at the Mall"

One day the Inuyasha gang was walking to the mall. Sesshomaru had to get some "purchases" from several "stores". Once inside they headed to the directory. Upon finding the store of their choice, they began walking. Soon they were right in front of..."KENSHIN'S PREGNANT MATERNITY INC.". "OK then let's go" said Inuyasha. They walked inside and all of a sudden Kenshin came to greet them. "Hey everyone! Welcome to my KENSHIN'S PREGNANT MATERNITY INC. store!" said Kenshin. And out of no where Inuyasha popped up and yelled "KENSHIN! is that you! It's me Inuyasha! Remember?" "Kenshin" squealed Naraku and Sesshomaru in the back. "We were in that fraternity together" screamed Inuyasha. "Indeed. I do remember you Inu. You too Sess, and you Naraku. How could I ever forget? We were he best of friends." said Kenshin.

"AWESOME!" yelled Inu, Sess, and Naraku. "So what have you three been up to lately?" asked Kenshin. "Oh well see we do the coolest thing. We get together after work and go to Fuedel Japan, Sesshomaru he's my brother, but you already knew that! But see he pretends he hates me, but everyone knows we love each other! (A/N: look, i know they're out of character, OK? just go along with it plz! thank you 3 ) So we're the good guys and stuff and we look for these little pieces of plastic called jewel shards. I even named each of them after ourselves, see this is Inu, Sess, Kags, Monk, and i named this one Boomerang after Sango's thingy-ma-jig, who knows what that thing could possibly be! HAHAHA!"said Inuyasha. "And I'm the bad guy. I go around killing a few people. It's like coolest game ever" sqeaked Naraku. "Wow, that sounds like a bunch of fun, maybe I'll join you guys one day, I'm pretty good with a sword myself!" said Kenshin. "Cool. So what have you been up to Kenshin?" asked Sesshomaru. "Um...well...see...the thing is I'm...pregnant" replied Kenshin. "..." "AWSOME! THAT IS SO SERIOUSLY COOL DUDE!" screamed Inuyasha. "...Um, thanks?" "LIKE, WHO'S THE FATHER!" "...sniffle whimper sob I...I...I...well, u see...whimper " "Gee, Kenshin man, I'm sorry, I didn't know" soothed Inuyasha. "No, it's ok. I'm fine. The father...he was the shortest most good looking manboy I'd ever met. We shared a very special very wonderful few moments in the water when I dived in to save him. That's how I got pregnant. His name was...his name was...Young Master. whimper He didn't know I was pregnant because I never told him, I didn't want to bother him with that so, he met someone else, and they moved to Germany. It was the last time I ever saw him ever again..." (A/N: the Yong Master really did move to Germany in one ep. Except he moved there with his uncle. --" hehe) "Awww man. I'm sorry, we didn't know, honestly." replied Inuyasha. "It's ok, it feels good to get that off my chest. Speaking of chests, did you know I wear Cup D! Isn't that wonderful?" asked Kenshin. "..." "Gee...That's...um...really cool..." "So what are you guys doing in a store like this anyway?" asked Kenshin. "Well see what happened was, Naraku, right, he was supposed to sleep with Kikyo, but he didn't, he accidently slept with Sesshomaru, and guess what? Someone got pregnant! That's right. Sesshomaru. He got himself pregnant." replied Inuyasha. "Wow that sounds just like Naraku and Sesshoamru. HAHAHA. "So when's the baby due anyways, Kenshin?" "Hmmm, probably in a couple of years, ten tops. Iv'e already had it for 5 years, so, and in my spare time I built this store." "Cool!"yelled Inuyasha. (A/N: OK, look, another inside joke. See, Kenshin, he's only funny when he's pregnant, therefore, highly intelligent scientists have created a special device of which was deposited onto Kenshin's hair. It then traveled down to his ear and entered his brain and sent messages to his body that this baby can never EVER be born! NEVER:3) "Ok, so, Sesshomaru, since you're the white loving unemtional kind of guy I have the perfect clothes for your soon to be born child. Here is my newest line of baby clothes. They're all white and perfect for unemotional people. What do you think?" asked Kenshin. "Indeed. I shall take one thousand of them. Charge them on my credit card!" replied Sesshomaru. "Now, can we please leave this store, it's making me quite uncomfortable with all these pregnant people and their pregnantness." "SURE! WE CAN GO TO A TOY STORE! BUY A MINI TETSUIGA!"yelled Inuyasha. "I know. You can go to my newest store, KENSHIN'S PREGNANT MATERNITY TOY STORE INC., it has all the toys you could ever want for your children." exclaimed Kenshin. "AWSOME" Inuyasha and the gang screamed in unision. "IT'S THAT ONE" screamed Inuyasha. "NO IT'S THE ONE TO THE RIGHT, STUPID!" Kagome screamed back. "YEAH RIGHT, IT IS SOOO THAT ONE!" "NO IT'S NOT! ARE YOU DARING TO QUESTION MY EXPERTISE IN STORES, INUYASHA!" "JUST BECAUSE YOU LIVE IN THIS TIME DOESN'T MEAN YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT IT!" "OH YEAH! WEEEeelll I..I...Inu...Inuyasha...do you notice something?"asked Kagome. "Yyyesss...shiver "

KENSHIN'S PREGNANT MATERNITY TOY STORE INC., KENSHIN'S PREGNANT MATERNITY PET STORE INC., KENSHIN'S PREGNANT MATERNITY HAIR AND NAIL SALON INC. and...and...and... KENSHIN'S PREGNANT MATERNITY KINKY SEX STORE INC.! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Kagome and Inuyasha in unision. "Inuyasha, you don't think..." "I...I...I don't know Kagome." Kagome and Inuyasha raced outside the mall along with the whole Inuyasha gang right behind them. They all stared in horror at the sign at the entrance of the mall. It read... KENSHIN'S PREGNANT MATERNITY MALL INC.! "Oh my God Inuyasha!" yelled Kagome. They all raced back inside then halted once inside the mall. All they could here was a tapping sound coming from a dark hallway in the mall. tap...tap...taptaptap...tap...tap...taptaptap...tap...tap...tap...tap Slowly Kenshin's figure began to materialize only a few feet away from them. "So. You have discovered my little secret. Yes. It's true. I own the mall." "OMIGOD! INUYASHA!" screamed Kagome. "KAGOME!" "INUYASHA!" "KAGOME!" "INUYASHA!" "KAGOME!" "INUYASHA!" "Yes. Well, while they are bickering moving three steps away I think I tap, tap must tap, tap decide tap, tap, tap HOW TO ELEMINATE YOU!" yelled Kenshin as he continued to move towards the group. Suddenly out of no where another tapping could be heard from ANOTHER dark hallway of the mall.

Kenshin: "I smell something familiar!"

Naraku: "I smell evil!"

Sesshomaru: sniff, sniff "I smell... little boys!

Kenshin: "No. It couldn't be... it couldn't be him...

Naraku: "I smell evil!"

Sesshomaru: hopping up and down "LITTLE BOYS, LITTLE BOYS!"

Then out of the darkness stepped... "Yes it is I Sanoske Halfmummy! Kenshin, I have something to tell you. Your ultrasound came in. We know the gender." "OMIGOD! Well what is it Sano?" asked Kenshin. "It's a...it's a... are you sure you're ready? ok. it's a...a...sure you're ready now? ok...it's a ...g...g...BOY!" replied Sanoske. "LITTLE BOYS? WHERE!" screamed Sesshomaru. sniff, sniff "little boy, little boy!" whispered Sesshomaru. "EW! Sesshomaru stop licking my stomach!"yelled Kenshin. "oops. sorry Kenshin. I guess I got a little carried away. hehehe" replied Sesshomaru. "I think i shall name my baby...FatAss!" squealed Kenshin. "What a wonderfulific name Kenshin!" squeaked Inuyasha. "YUP!" agreed everyone else. "Wai a minute, wasnt i supposed to eliminate you?" questioned Kenshin. "N..n..no. What are you talking about?" asked Naraku. "Oh. OK then. Let's go find that mini tetsuiga then!" said Kenshin. "Yeah!" everyone said.

THE END

well there u have it. chapter 6. hope u likey, my longest chappie yet. yay! plz R&R!


	7. The Mobility Challenged Boogeyman

Ok. Does every1 kno that movie that came out a while ago called "the boogeyman"? well this is the inuyasha version. . this is probably really gonna suck. But it will be funny! w/e. enjoy! .

Disclaimer: I do not own inuyasha or anyone in the show. Consider this a permanent disclaimer.

"The Mobility Challenged Boogeyman"

A long time ago in the feudal era there lived a half demon named Inuyasha and his girlfriend Kikyo.

"KIKYO! Come quick! Hurry, before it's too late!" yelled Inuyasha.

"What is it Inuyasha? I don't need to do it again do I?" replied Kikyo.

" You have to! You promised, so you have to!" said Inuyasha.

"FINE! Jesus Inuyasha. Can't you do anything by yourself?" asked Kikyo.

"HMPH! Just hurry up and let's get this over with. You ready?" asked Inuyasha.

"Yeah, fine. Okay, nothing under the bed, nothing hiding in your bathroom, and nothing in the closet. You happy now?" replied Kikyo.

"Yeah. I guess there's no boogeyman in my room after all. Thanks Kikyo. You're the bes…. bes….best…. t….t…..t…..t………..AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" screamed Inuyasha.

"What is it InuyashaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! screamed Kikyo as she was sucked by Inuyasha's closet.

"NOOOOOOOOO! Why closet! Why!" asked Inuyasha.

"I am not your closet Inuyasha. I am the portal named Miroku, which the boogeyman uses to transport people to his cave." replied the magic portal named Miroku.

"AHHHHHHHH! Pervert! slap" yelled Kikyo from within the depths of the portal named Miroku.

"What the fuck!" screamed Inuyasha.

"I also have a disorder known as 'severe pervertedness'" replied Miroku wisely.

"Why you little sonofabitch!" yelled Inuyasha.

"Uh-oh. Well Inuyasha, it is time that we part. Farewell." replied a very frightened portal.

"Dammit" cursed Inuyasha.

500 YEARS L8ER……………….

A short while ago in the modern times there lived the same half demon named Inuyasha and his new girlfriend Kagome.

"Hey Kagome. You want to go a random motel so you can take a bath where I'm about to join but you get sucked into the depths of he perverted portal?" asked Inuyasha.

"Oh Inuyasha, you have got to stop imagining things, geez, the boogeyman doesn't exist." replied Kagome.

"Yes it does it kidnapped my old girlfriend Kikyo. You could never possibly understand." sighed Inuyasha.

"Oh Jesus." said Kagome.

2 HOURS L8ER AT SOME RANDOM MOTEL

"Hey Inuyasha! Why don't you come in here and join me in a nice, warm, sexy bath?" asked Kagome in a breathy voice.

"Coming……" replied Inuyasha in his best husky voice impersonation.

"Well, hello there handsome" said Kagome as Inuyasha entered the bathroom.

"Kagome you little devil you." giggled Inuyasha as he got closer to the bathtub.

"HehehehaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" screamed Kagome as she, just as Inuyasha's previous girlfriend, got sucked into the bathtub.

"Noooooooooooooooooo! Miroku is that you? STOP SUCKING UP MY GIRLFRIENDS YOU BASTARD!" yelled Inuyasha while desperately trying to save Kagome but failing miserably.

"AHHHHHHH! PERVERT! slap" yelled Kagome from within the portal named Miroku.

"DAMMIT! It is you Miroku isn't it!" screamed Inuyasha.

"Yes, it is I Inuyasha. Long time no see, ne?" asked Miroku wisely.

"IMMA GONNA KICK YO STUPID PORTAL ASS!" screamed Inuyasha, anger overriding his system.

"Now, now. No need to get violent. One day we will meet again Inuyasha. And sooner than you think. Until then, I will keep sucking up your loved ones and friends, until you get the courage to come face to face with my master. Goodbye, Inuyasha." said Miroku as he retreated back into the closet.

"Come back here and fight me like a portal! Damn, he escaped my grasp again. And what does he mean by 'courage to face his master' ? I've got plenty of courage! Hell yeah."

A COUPLE OF RANDOM DAYS L8ER

"I have come to the old man's house. He is the only other person that knows about the boogeyman" said Inuyasha as he headed to the old man's house.

knock, knock

"Hello? Anyone there? Old man? Heeeeellllloooooooooooo?" yelled Inuyasha.

"I'M NOT AN OLD MAN!" came a strange old woman's voice from deep within the house.

"You're not? Oh. My bad!" apologized Inuyasha.

"No, I am not. My name is Kaede. Now, why are ye here Inuyasha?" asked the old woman named Kaede.

"Woah. How'd you know my name?" asked Inuyasha incredulously.

"I know everything grasshopper." replied Kaede wisely.

"Cool. Hey, why do you have all these pictures of kids on your walls? And that chair with chains on it. And a closet right in front of it? OH MY GOD! Are you a CHILD MOLESTER? Ewwwwwwwwww! Gross!" squealed Inuyasha.

"No stupid. Ye kids are the ones that were taken by ye boogeyman. The only time they were ever molested was when they were sucked in by the perverted portal. DUH!" said Kaede.

"Oh. That explains it. Then who's that little girl that led me to the house. She knows about the boogeyman too!" yelled Inuyasha anxiously.

"sigh Ye have a serious problem with genders. The person ye thought was a little girl is actually a little boy. He is my adopted son Shippo. He is a fox demon. But he is not really there." replied Kaede.

"What the hell?" questioned Inuyasha.

"He is just in our imaginations. He too was taken by the boogeyman." answered Kaede.

"Oh." replied Inuyasha dumbly. "Then why did he lead me here?

"Because I need to tell ye my story. After my adopted son Shippo got taken by the boogeyman, I made a vow that I would face the boogeyman. But I failed, I did not have enough courage. But ye do Inuyasha. Ye do. Ye must face the evil the boogeyman has created. Ye must stand up to him, to conquer him! Or face the consequences and get sucked by the perverted portal. Good luck, good bye. Get out of my house. Hurry! The boogeyman is approaching. He is approaching quickly! Ye must run." yelled Kaede hurriedly.

"Lady, you're crazy. The boogeyman ain't coming. You're probably just having a heart attack or something stupid that old people get when they become old. Geez." said Inuyasha.

ANOTHER COUPLE OF RANDOM DAYS L8ER

"Ok. I will now face the boogeyman. I have gathered all the things that remind me of my childhood when my first girlfriend got sucked in by that evil PERVERTED portal. Including my old girlfriend's clothes and the remains of her arm, which were a result of me trying to save her, my demon slayer action figure, Sango, her loyally faithful two tail cat, Kirara, these weird things I hung on my ceiling as a child, which surprisingly resembles my recently deceased uncle Naraku." said Inuyasha to himself as he chained himself down to a chair, like the one at Keade's house, surrounded by all of his 'childhood' crap.

"Ok. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm readyyyyyyyyyyy! Hell yea!" yelled out Inuyasha.

All of a sudden the room began to shake getting more and more violent by the second. It felt like an earthquake but worse and weirder, and perverted for some strange reason. And then the closet door OPENED!

500 YEARS IN THE PAST

"KIKYO! I must be back in the past!

½ AN HOUR L8ER

"Wait a minute! Was I supposed to save Kikyo? Oh dammit! Oh well. She was dead anyways. But still, I kind of feel bad. I mean I had a chance to save her but I didn't. Woah! That was way too deep for even myself." replied Inuyasha while being transported to another time.

500 YEARS L8ER

"I understand what my purpose is now! I must save all those that I lost to the boogeyman. Hmmmmmmm… it seems that is has come time to save my new girlfriend now for I am back at the hotel where we were supposed to do naughty things till the meanie boogeyman _interrupted._ NO! Kagome! I'll save you!" yelled Inuyasha as he began to try and save his new girlfriend from he evil grasp of the perverted portal.

"YES! I managed to save her! Mostly. I hope she doesn't mind the loss of an arm or two. Oh well!" sighed Inuyasha.

"Gee thanks Inuyasha. You saved me! But I'm missing an arm, and a leg! Gee, thaaaaanks a loooot!" said Kagome sarcastically.

"Hey, no prob!" answered Inuyasha while once again being transported back to his present situation strapped to a chair in front of his closet with his 'childhood' crap.

"Inuyasha! What did you do? Made such a mess too!" yelled Kagome angrily.

"Shhhhhh. Something's happening. Sit down, before the room shakes violently again." replied Inuyasha.

All of a sudden (A/N: wowie I use that beginning a lot) the room began to shake violently, and the atmosphere once again contained a strange pervertedness. Then out of nowhere the boogeyman……………… floated out of the closet?

"THE BOOGEYMAN!" yelled Inuyasha and Kagome combined.

"INUYASHA!"

"KAGOME!"

"INUYASHA!"

KAGOME!"

INUYASHA!"

KAGOME!"

"SHUT UP!" yelled the boogeyman.

"Hey, why are you floating? And shouldn't' you be attacking us? What do you want Boogeyman!" asked Inuyasha in a desperate attempt to save his sorry ass plus his new girlfriend.

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm not the boogeyman. There's no such thing as the boogeyman!" replied the……..um…….. almost boogeyman?

"HUH!" questioned Inuyasha and Kagome simultaneously.

"I am THE MOBILITY CHALLENGED BOOGEYMAN. But you can call me Onigumo. I was your recently deceased uncle Naraku's father. And I am floating because I cannot move, in other words I am paralyzed, thus originates my famous name. I live in a cave" answered Onigumo wisely.

"Yes and I'm his trusty sidekick, the perverted portal, which leads to his secret cave!" said Miroku.

"WAH! You have got to be fucking kidding me! This sucks. You suck. I suck. All my girlfriends suck. The whole fucking stupid paralyzed, perverted world sucks!" yelled Inuyasha extremely angry.

"Yeah! What he said!" answered Kagome stupidly.

"Too bad! Deal with it!" yelled Onigumo angered that Inuyasha didn't worship him and his greatness. "Oh and by the way. I stole your old girlfriend! Soooooo blows raspberry See you later stupid ass hole!"

"Damn you! One day Onigumo! One day!" yelled Inuyasha.

"Whatever, let's just pretend you beat me and I'll never bother you again, OK? Get it? Got it? Good?" yelled Onigumo as he disappeared into the perverted hole. "AHHH! slap" screamed Onigumo from within the portal.

"Sorry. It's a disorder" replied Miroku.

THE END

If anyone else watched that movie, didn't anyone think that the boogeyman looked a lot like an African American Onigumo? Cause it did. And it was weird. Anyways, R&R! plz an' tenk u!


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